Waiting, Worrying, Whining

We submitted our post choices yesterday. We are supposed to know the results by the 25th. Gulp. Cough. Choke.

#1 San Salvador, El Salvador
#2 Zagreb, Croatia
#3 Rabat, Morrocco

I'm scared. I hate to think about moving again, and all the various hassles that go with an overseas move. But I've begun the process of sorting and trashing, organizing and making lists, returning things, and pre-planning. That helps me focus instead of worry.

I'm also very excited, and looking forward to what lies ahead. A new house, new friends, new surroundings to explore, new opportunities. New worries, new challenges, new problems.

I just hope we don't die in an earthquake in El Salvador...

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee."
Psalm 56:3

~Marla

Learning About Myself

Today was wonderful. I was a good mommy. I did not yell at my boys or get angry or out of sorts about kids being kids.

I've noticed a change in myself since I started homeschooling. I realized that kids need to be kids. Kids aren't perfect. It seems that as they get older, I demand more perfection from them, instead of letting them be 11 or 9. I've been thinking about what it was like to have a two year old in the house. They are noisy, messy and childish. My kids aren't all that far from being two, yet I get upset if they are loud, if they make a mess, or if they act like kids. I've noticed that my husband is also having this problem.

I think this is a pattern that has developed over the past couple years and it has just now become a glaring problem because I'm around them so much now. I see them every day. I see how destructive my anger is if I don't control it. I see how it hurts them, and that greatly hurts me. My thoughtless words and mannerisms reveal how selfish I am, how much I want things to be My Way.

This week, I am stepping back and seeing my children for what they really are: CHILDREN. They make mistakes, they make messes, they make noise, they are rambunctious, they don't know everything. They are a joy, and a challenge. They are the reason I am a mother. They are a gift from God, to me.

I suppose its natural for our children to reveal our weaknesses. I don't like it, but I believe it can be quite character building if I'll allow myself to learn from these experiences. Every day, I grow up a little more!

I want my boys to mature and be responsible for their actions. I want them to learn to clean up their messes, to be quiet when its absolutely necessary. But a balance is needed; you are only given one childhood. During that precious time, it is important that Mom has not yelled at you every time you've made a mess or every time you get a little too loud. Patience, I'm learning, is a mother's best friend. How can I teach them what I want them to learn if I fly off the handle about silly little things? How much better it would be to be as patient as Jesus was with His disciples. I don't think he hollered at them. He made his point and left them to think about what he said.

Homeschooling has merely brought this aspect of my life to my attention. I now see it clearly for what it is. Sin. And now I can deal with it and ask the Lord to help me. I know I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. I know that's the ONLY way it can be done.



"Man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger."

Rejoicing in Him who loves me,
in spite of all my shortcomings,
in spite of all my sin,

Marla

Quick Note:

Well, things have changed once again. I probably won't write much more about these changes because its too frustrating to write about it (and probably to read about it also!) We had decided last night that we liked Zambia and were ready to put it on our top 3 list. Snort. Today we found out we can't go there because whoever is there now is planning to extend. Same deal for the post in Uganda, but we weren't interested in going there anyway! So, we're still trying to sort it all out at this point.

Once we finally settle on what we want, I'm pretty sure we'll have to be willing to stretch like a rubber band to accomodate even more future changes to the list. It isn't set in stone. In some ways, it would be easier if we had no say at all, and they just told us where we were going. Choosing is hard. I told my dear hubby last night that I was ready to make our decision and then leave it to God. He's in control. Wherever we end up, I believe it to be God's will for our family, because we have prayed for that. I may have to pray that I can accept His will for me, depending on where He wants us to go....

I guess I'm too preoccupied to write about anything else.

Instead, I'm contemplating such thoughts as these:

Courage is fear that has said its prayers!

Don't look back - Look forward to all the opportunities God will give you.

Believe your beliefs, doubt your doubts.

Rejoicing, Thinking, and Praying ~
Marla

Changes...

The real list came out yesterday, and as expected, there are changes! Minsk and China are no longer possiblities, but in their place are some interesting choices. We will most likely choose two places from this list:

Moscow, Russia
Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Jakarta, Indonesia
Kampala, Uganda
Lusaka, Zambia
Rabat, Morocco
Athens, Greece
Bucharest, Romania
Zagreb, Croatia

And one place from this exciting list:

Port of Spain, Trinidad
San Salvador, El Salvador
Capetown, S. Africa
Valleta, Malta
Budapest, Hungary
Bridgetown, Barbados
Nassau, Bahamas
San Jose, Costa Rica


In a nutshell, this is what will happen: They give us until TUESDAY to send our three choices. These, along with everyone else bidding on these posts, will get sent further up the chain of command, where the decisions will be made as to who goes where. They supposedly will try to send you where you request, but that isn't always possible and if everyone is asking for the same place, obviously, we can't all go there. So THEY decide in those cases. We will hear back from them in a couple weeks and hopefully by the end of October, we'll know where we're going. After being in a nice place like Stockholm, I feel like we should be realistic about our requests. For instance, much as I'd like to be swinging in a hammock on the beach of Barbados or the Bahamas, I don't think we should ask for it. Dear hubby, though agreeing with my thinking, also believes they are truly asking us where we want to go and if we don't ask, we don't get.

We looked through the list last night, talked about it till midnight, researched on the internet and looked through some of the post reports. From the first list, I am most interested in Morocco, Greece and Croatia. From the second list, Capetown and San Jose. We will certainly be reading up on these places and praying for wisdom! The more I think about it, I find I'm really excited about going someplace warm and sunny!!

Thank you all for commenting on my last post, regarding what your choices would be! I found that very interesting and y'all brought out points that I hadn't thought of!

On another note, what am I going to do about the name of my blog when I'm no longer in Sweden?? I wasn't planning ahead when I chose a name. But I also had wanted a name with Sweden in it, since it was partly my reason for blogging in the first place!

Rejoice (AND PRAY!)
Marla

Sound Off!

I've been researching our next post possibilities this weekend and shouting to hubby the interesting things I'm finding out. At this point, we don't have the EXACT list but we have some idea of what is available. We hope to have a truly accurate list sometime this week. Wouldn't that be nice? In the meantime, I'm trying to get a handle on what our options are.

We don't see any hope of being sent to:

San Jose, Costa Rica
Port of Spain, Trinidad
Valleta, Malta
Budapest, Hungary
Munich, Germany

So we're left with these:

Moscow, Russia
Minsk, Belarus
Beijing, China
Jakarta, Indonesia

I like Jakarta for the climate change, but we are wary of moving to "the largest Muslim country in the world" and for health reasons. Working conditions could be difficult for hubby and there are definitely some security issues!

China is intriguing. Our boys are most interested in going there. Mainly for the rice! I would not mind it except for the crowds and the heavy pollution.

Minsk is cold. The city was virtually destroyed during World War II, and some 30% of the population perished. Stalin also killed hundreds of thousands of Belarusians. In 1986, radioactive fallout from Chernobyl contaminated one-fifth of Belarus. It has now been 16 years since that terrible accident and radiation levels in Minsk have long since returned to normal.

Moscow is cold. Really cold. In winter, the temperature may fall to -40F. (ouch) But on average its a warm 14F. Hmmm. I don't know what to think about Moscow yet.

There's going to be pros and cons for each place. What I'm curious about, is what do y'all think? How would you rank these 4 places? Where would you most want to go, and where would you not even consider going??

If we get any updates this week, you can be sure I'll be writing about it. I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts!

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

"I do not know why we delude ourselves that life is predictable and safe, when its really just a carton of eggs - always just one stumble away from being scrambled."
(ha ha ha) ~from The Carousel, by Richard Paul Evans

The First Five Weeks

We have completed our fifth week of homeschooling. During that time, I've been on the roller coaster ride of my life! We've had days where we coasted downhill, climbed frightening heights and screamed through the loops!

But last week was the best so far. Last week was just fun. I didn't experience days filled with doubt, worry or anxiety. We accomplished our goals, we had fun together and I began to feel more at ease with our new life.

My biggest difficulties are:

1. there is no local support (i.e. no homeschooling groups or friends here)
2. no library (but the internet is a good substitute)
3. adjusting to having the boys around all the time, figuring out what they should be doing, and missing "alone" time

So, little by little, I'm figuring out how to handle these problems and becoming more comfortable with our new way of life. Now, I know what is meant by this statement: "Homeschooling is a lifestyle." Well, I like the idea behind it, but its hard to adjust to a new lifestyle!

Another thing that triggered a week of depression was William Bennett's book, The Educated Child. I started looking through that book and seeing all the things that my kids would be learning in school, but only if the public school system was absolutely PERFECT. There is no way, in my inexperienced mind, that its possible for ME to accomplish all that at home. And I certainly couldn't see how a public school was going to pull it off.

So, I put the book away and began reading homeschooling blogs, books, and articles for some encouragement and ideas. That's when I realized how nice it would be to call a homeschooling mom and invite her over for a cup of coffee and a nice long chat about all this stuff. Not possible. So I prayed and I read. Then I felt better and decided not to open "that book" again, unless I want something specific or I need an idea to fill some time. Maybe I'm just not ready for all that pressure yet.

So, we're lightening up, going on field trips and sticking to the original plan. We'll also add some "focus" subjects throughout the week:

Math, English, Typing, silent reading, and History every day
art on Mondays
Spanish on Tuesdays
Science on Wednesdays
Music on Thursdays
Field Trip (NO MATH) on Fridays

Yesterday we went to the Stockholm Water Aquaria, which was small, but interesting. It gave us the needed break of getting out of the house, and seeing what was going on in the world around us. We also stopped by Junibacken and picked up an Emil book and a Pettson and Findus book.

Now, we're off to the park to shoot some hoops. Family Time on Saturday. YEA!

REJOICE!!
:-)
Marla

Favorite Swedish Children's Books

Lately I have been thinking about the souvenirs I want to take from Sweden. At the top of my list are some of these excellent children's books! I especially enjoy the Pettson and Findus books:



They're about an old farmer, named Pettson, and his cat Findus. They get into some hilarious situations, all with a Swedish point of view. My kids love these books, and so do I! We have only found 4 books that have been translated into English. Pettson and Findus are pretty popular here - you can find them as the theme of puzzles, on bookmarks and postcards, calendars and other such items.


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Another good set of Swedish children's books are the Emil series, by Astrid Lindgren, the writer of the Pippi Longstocking series. Emil is a little boy from Lönneberga, Sweden, who frequently finds himself confined to the woodshed because of his trouble-making habits. He makes good use of his time in there by carving little wooden figures. His time-outs don't seem to change his behavior but these are some good stories nonetheless.

Everyone's heard of Pippi Longstocking. We have purchased a couple of those books too and they are lots of fun to read together. Pippi souvenirs can be found all over Stockholm. We have also been to Junibacken (pronounced yuni-bock-en), the musuem devoted to Astrid Lindgren's world of stories.

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This book isn't a children's book. I bought it from the Royal Palace Bookshop and I plan to invite my friends to sign it before we move away. I've seen this done for other families leaving Sweden and I believe it will be a treasured keepsake we will enjoy for years to come.

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This one isn't a book at all, but its still a great souvenir idea: the Stockholm version of Monopoly! It includes streets and places in Stockholm, uses Swedish kronor, and the Swedish language. What a fun way to remember the city!

Reading and Rejoicing,
Marla